I am at a stage or phase in my life where the things I'm struggling with (as far as PPD are concerned) are changing. Before it was constant mood swings and angry outbursts (mostly directed towards my husband). Now, I find that my PPD tends to be different. Sure, I'm still too quick to anger but it isn't nearly as bad as it was. I think I'm making some progress there. About time, too! It's been over a year! But I am struggling with self esteem issues.
If you are like me, you are likely experiencing absolutely no sexiness. ZERO. Not even a single shred of sexy.
For the past year, I haven't felt the least bit attractive. I've hated my body and the changes pregnancy brought about. I didn't "embrace" my new body, as everyone else told me to… In fact, I became more self conscious as an adult than I ever was as a teen.
As a teen, I was extremely thin and petite. Almost too thin. If I became sick, I'd lose weight from not being able to eat and having an over-active metabolism. It took me 6 months to gain back 10 pounds I lost from being sick for a week once. I was 17 then. I had VERY clear skin. Never had more than 1 pimple at a time and those were occasional. White, naturally straight teeth. Nice, long, manageable, super curly hair (thanks to a phenomenal perm!).
As an adult, I developed pregnancy induced acne in my third trimester with my son. It didn't go away until he was 6 months old and has left horrible scars. My metabolism has slowed to almost non-existent. I can't shake the last 6 pounds of baby weight which have conveniently taken up residence in my belly so I now look like I have a tire around me. My hair, oddly enough, lost it's life after I had my baby. The hormones didn't effect me during pregnancy, as with most women. For me, they wreaked havoc on my hair's length, manageability, texture, and moisture level after I had him. My skin and hair are now oily where before they tended to be more on the dry side. And let's not talk about the effect of nursing your baby. -.-
As you can see, I've been quite self conscious of my body and appearance for the last year.
NO MOREEEEE!!
For the last month or so, I've made it my mission to "Bring My Sexy Back!" ;) I have been making an effort in doing my hair and dressing nicely for work. I used to do fun hairstyles and dress up everyday to work. I'm trying to get back into the swing of things now. My thinking is that if I put extra effort into my appearance then I will feel good about myself. Revelation to me, I know, and I'm sure it's not for most of you. I realized that doing a nice hairstyle didn't mean anything if I was still in bummy clothes. So, 2/3 of my work week, I've been making an extra effort. I've even been so determined that I squeezed myself into some outfits that might not fit the same way as they did before baby. LOL It works, though. When I feel good about myself, my confidence level rises and I can conquer the world! I am invincible! I am a MAMA! I am one HOTT Mama!! ;)
I saw Ryan Seacrest talking about this book called, "Got MILF- The Modern Mom's Guide to Feeling Fabulous, Looking Great, and Rocking a Minivan" by Sarah Maizes. I read reviews and it sounded right up my ally. So I ordered it off Amazon. It's very light hearted and humorous about the daily struggles of a mama and trying to balance life while still maintaining her individuality. It helps you find ways to be a hott mom without being a trashy. Click HERE to read the blog I read. It sure convinced me.
If you don't know what a MILF is then I'm not explaining it to you. This book takes that derogatory term and puts a spin on it! Even making it a compliment to be called one! The very idea that I would be called a MILF and found attractive BECAUSE I had a child and not DESPITE I had a child seemed preposterous to me! But that's exactly what it's about: finding your sexy, adjusting to the new you while not losing the old you, and feeling comfortable with who the new you is! I would highly recommend it to all my mommy friends!!
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